and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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