Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
