Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week