Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.

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  (330): i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow. http://tfl.nu/ez44
  Replies (11) Good night (3480) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.

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  (508): god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?! (774): Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to. http://tfl.nu/gr6l
  Replies (25) Good night (1054) Bad night (5213)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.

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  (407): woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over. http://tfl.nu/kn1h
  Replies (11) Good night (765) Bad night (3381)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.

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  (786): i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot. http://tfl.nu/tkrk
  Replies (19) Good night (1135) Bad night (4592)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.

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  (662): After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do. http://tfl.nu/mztj
  Replies (9) Good night (3439) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.

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  (507): He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in. http://tfl.nu/mt4b
  Replies (15) Good night (3707) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.

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  (918): I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing. http://tfl.nu/z0n7
  Replies (49) Good night (1526) Bad night (3681)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.

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  (703): When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond. http://tfl.nu/i1tf
  Replies (12) Good night (2761) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"

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  (619): I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn" http://tfl.nu/h75w
  Replies (5) Good night (1505) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  My booty call just moved 2 min from my house

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  This has pregnancy written all over it

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  (513): My booty call just moved 2 min from my house (1-513): This has pregnancy written all over it http://tfl.nu/2h6m
  Replies (1) Good night (1678) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.

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  (215): When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed. http://tfl.nu/vxku
  Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her

  (718): View more from New York

  What is this high school

  (347): View more from New York

  There was a lot of catching up to do bro

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  (347): It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her (718): What is this high school (347): There was a lot of catching up to do bro http://tfl.nu/bof4
  Replies (4) Good night (917) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  $5. Donated.

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  (314): Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate. (636): $5. Donated. http://tfl.nu/smvj
  Replies (0) Good night (842) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.

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  (903): All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life. http://tfl.nu/r4g8
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.

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  (508): Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success. http://tfl.nu/jez0
  Replies (1) Good night (200) Bad night (362)

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