Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig

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  (314): My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig http://tfl.nu/q8sk
  Replies (3) Good night (1242) Bad night (876)
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  (760): View more from California

  have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive

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  (760): have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive http://tfl.nu/u0dx
  Replies (55) Good night (4544) Bad night (725)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.

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  (434): Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am. http://tfl.nu/f8a0
  Replies (19) Good night (3358) Bad night (695)
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  (408): View more from California

  Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

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  (408): Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/sgs8
  Replies (41) Good night (6856) Bad night (1324)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.

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  (224): States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby. http://tfl.nu/to2g
  Replies (49) Good night (4256) Bad night (1360)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you

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  (248): Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you http://tfl.nu/8prb
  Replies (7) Good night (1215) Bad night (2816)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.

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  (256): He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m. http://tfl.nu/vqeg
  Replies (9) Good night (828) Bad night (2215)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY

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  (609): These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY http://tfl.nu/f90k
  Replies (12) Good night (914) Bad night (2488)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...

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  (701): Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper... http://tfl.nu/oauc
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (2240)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila

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  (816): Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila http://tfl.nu/brdu
  Replies (4) Good night (1788) Bad night (685)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?

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  (727): I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening? http://tfl.nu/i8s4
  Replies (8) Good night (1208) Bad night (778)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.

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  (614): Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend. http://tfl.nu/4bsk
  Replies (5) Good night (447) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later

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  (587): You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later http://tfl.nu/y2r0
  Replies (6) Good night (1013) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Way to crack the case Nancy Drew

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  (406): Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced (1-406): Way to crack the case Nancy Drew http://tfl.nu/rhym
  Replies (5) Good night (670) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.

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  (423): Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems. http://tfl.nu/fnuz
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (299)

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