Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.

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  (856): If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/y6yr
  Replies (50) Good night (908) Bad night (8007)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot

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  (417): Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot http://tfl.nu/f7xk
  Replies (52) Good night (5499) Bad night (1613)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster

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  (905): the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster http://tfl.nu/r7o9
  Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (3796)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me

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  (813): For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me http://tfl.nu/id49
  Replies (14) Good night (4372) Bad night (1501)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

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  (361): Did i throw a brick at someone last night? http://tfl.nu/tk7m
  Replies (15) Good night (5815) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.

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  (920): The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap. http://tfl.nu/xkff
  Replies (8) Good night (676) Bad night (4416)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.

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  (810): I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here. http://tfl.nu/wy8z
  Replies (10) Good night (3755) Bad night (1002)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.

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  (603): what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back. http://tfl.nu/v7kr
  Replies (4) Good night (670) Bad night (1683)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.

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  (701): Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect. http://tfl.nu/4n2p
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Twice...

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  (404): Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it? (717): Twice... http://tfl.nu/e2vh
  Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (447)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring

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  (501): So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring http://tfl.nu/8ezz
  Replies (4) Good night (812) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

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  (406): WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA http://tfl.nu/iwiz
  Replies (4) Good night (775) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing

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  (503): Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing http://tfl.nu/v3ef
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.

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  (+61): He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar. http://tfl.nu/olys
  Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I am thankful for thumbs.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Land dolphins.

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  (425): I am thankful for thumbs. (425): Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins. (425): Land dolphins. http://tfl.nu/9wit
  Replies (2) Good night (969) Bad night (295)

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