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• (707): View more from California

  Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina

  (804): View more from Virginia

  not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote

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• (619): View more from California

  our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.

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• (631): View more from New York

  i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (772): View more from Florida

  Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (619): View more from California

  After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."

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• (512): View more from Texas

  It's not a walk of shame if you run

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