5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night