I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
