ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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