Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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