Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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