Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
