omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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