Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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