I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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