where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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