Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
