if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My dick has a subreddit
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
