shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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