after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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