He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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