let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's always time for handjobs
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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