the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dicks are not precious.
Your penis caused this!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
