Don't you send me to vm
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize