also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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