I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
