Yo dont text me then not text me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
