he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
