I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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