why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
