kristin has been a bad kristin
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
