i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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