Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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