bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
