She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize