i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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