yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
