so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
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The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
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time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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