I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
