K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize