oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize
