I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
