I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
