do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
