THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
