My brain says no but my pants say off.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize