just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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