so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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