Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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