Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
babies were throwing up all over the place
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize