it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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