Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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