Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
