READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
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i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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