He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
