is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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