the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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