Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
