I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
