You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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